Selingan: A mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003,2004 and 2005. Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid
number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and
Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.(Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.

* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

* Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle property of some hundred millions $.

* I stopped using my right ear for taking a call from my mobile.

* I start coughing whenever I feel pain at my chest which I fear is a heart attack, but is mostly due to cold.

*Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandana, Tirupati Balaji pics etc.. now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)

IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1246 people in the next 10
seconds, a bird will SH** on your head today at 6:30pm.

--

Well said, hahahaha

Pemuda, Mesingan & Solat Jumaat

Kalau anda pikir anda masih islam bacalah...kalau tidak......Allah saja yang tahu... Dengan Nama ALLAH yg Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Pengasih...

Bayangkan benda ini berlaku pada anda..... Suatu hari pada masa Sembahyang Jumaat yang di hadiri oleh lebih kurang 1,000 jemaah...
tiba-tiba masuk dua orang lelaki yang menutupi seluruh tubuhnyer dgn
pakaian hitam.. tak nampak apa cuma dua biji mata dan membawa mesin
gun... lalu salah seorang lelaki tu bertempik, "Sesiapa yang sanggup
MATI kerana ALLAH sila berdiri di tempat kamu!" Selepas mendengar amaran lelaki itu maka segeralah bertempiaran lari para jemaah itu utk menyelamatkan diri.... daripada jumlah yang 1,000 tadi tu hanya tinggal lebih
kurang 20 orang sahaja yang masih berdiri di tempat masing-masing termasuk Pak Iman tu...

Lelaki yang bertempik tadi segera membuka tutup mukanya lalu melihat ke arah Pak Imam sambil berkata: "Ok Pak Iman, saya dah halau SEMUA yang hipokrit, sekarang bolehlah Pak Imam mulakan sembahyang Jumaat"....

Lalu kedua lelaki tersebut berpaling dan meninggalkan jemaah.... Macammana.. adakah anda rasa lawak dgn cerita di atas. selain terhibur anda fikirlahlah...


" Lawak kan , dari 1,000 org yg mengaku dia Islam hanya 20 yg betul-betul beriman... "

" Lawakkan berapa banyak manusia yang mudah lupakan ALLAH bila
menghadapi bahaya... kedua lelaki hanya membawa mesin-gun.. dia tak kata
pun nak bunuh.. tapi generasi skrang.. amat lemah.. baru kena ugut terus lari
lintang pukang.. lupa yg dia tak sembahyang jumaat lagi..."

"Lawak, ada juga yang agamanya cuma seminggu sahaja.. tu pun bila time sembahyang jumaat.. tunjuk muka kat org kampung.. ada tu lagi dashyat
setahun 2 kali aje.. bile time sembahyang raya..."

"Lawakkan, ramai orang percaya kepada gosip dan apa yang di tulis oleh surat khabar daripada apa yang tercatit di dalam Al Quran"

"Lawak kan , berapa ramai yg percaya dunia hanya sementara, akhirat dalah
tempat yang kekal, tapi berlumba-lumba mengejar dunia"

"Lawak, kita boleh bersembang dgn boyfriend atau girlfriend berjam-jam
tapi nak berdoa kepada ALLAh alahai.. tak cukup masa..

Dan lebih lawak lagi, bila kita boleh post banyak thread atau email yang berunsur lawak jenaka dan lucah kesemua tempat tapi merasa berat nak berkongsi dan nak hantar artikel2 yang berunsur agama..

Lawak kan ???? Kenapa gelak? tu kan realiti.. tapi yg paling lawak sekali.. berapa orang yang lepas baca benda ni akan sampaikan kat orang lain... berapa orang yang akan buka email ni untuk luangkan masa membaca? berapa banyak????

WALLAHUALLAM

KAMI KATA

SOLAT JUMAAT TIDAK BOLEH DIDIRIKAN DENGAN JEMAAH KURANG DARI 40 ORANG.

Lawak kan .. berapa ramai orang forward email ni kat aku, tak sorang pun perasan pasal ni?